totcedoresti.ro | blog

1. Tragedie in Romania: 50.000 de romani morti! Dupa 2 zile apar ajutoarele: Americanii trimit 1 milion de dolari, Chinezii trimit o tona de medicamente, Italienii trimit 50.000 de romani.

2. In 3 camere inchise ERMETIC si fara nicio posibilitate de comunicare cu exteriorul sunt inchisi: un american, un rus si un roman. Fiecare dintre ei are cate 3 bile din otel, sa faca ceva inteligent cu ele. Americanul, dupa 2 ore, face din cele 3 bile un perpetuum mobile. Rusul, dupa vreo 3 ore, reuseste sa faca ca doua dintre bile sa se invarta in jurul celei de-a treia si sa produca energie. Romanul, dupa o zi, pierde una din bile si pe alta o strica.

Ne meritam soarta!

Nu prea citesc bancuri (pentru ca nu le tin minte) dar acum cateva seri nu m-am putut opri din citit vreo 2 ore. Am ales cateva care mi-au placut foarte tare si le-am pus aici. Distractie placuta!

Adam si Eva se plimbau prin Paradis. / Eva intreaba: / - Adam, ma iubesti? / Adam rabufneste: / - Am vreo alternativa?
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Un barbat intra intr-un magazin de animale si incepe sa se plimbe printre custi.
Merge el ce merge si vede intr-o cusca o maimuta care costa 5000$. Uimit se duce la vanzator:
-Domnule…ce stie maimuta asta sa faca pentru cei 5000$?
-Pai STIE Windows95, 98, 2000, stie Word, C++, Visual Basic si stie sase joace la calculator!
-Hmm…buna maimuta…merita!
Pleca el sa se mai plimbe si vede intr-o cusca o maimuta care costa 10000$.
- Ce stie domne maimuta asta sa merite 10000$?
- Pai stie Linux, Unix, Corel, C++, Autocad…
- Oau! Nici eu nu stiu toate astea….merita cu adevarat!
Se mai plimba el ce se mai plimba si vede intr-o cusca o maimuta cu 20000$
…Neincrezator il intreaba pe vanzator:
-Dar maimuta asta ce stie?
-Nu am vazut-o facand nimic…dar celelalte 2 ii zic Project Manager.
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Intrebare: Care este diferenta dintre un programator amator si unul profesionist? Raspuns: Cel amator crede ca un kilobyte are 1000 de bytes, iar cel profesionist crede ca un kilometru are 1024 de metri!?
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S-a confirmat existenta gripei aviare! Daca nu va vaccinati cocoselul, fierbeti macar ouale! Atentie la pasarici! Ardeti tot ce prindeti ………
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Cica se facea un sondaj de opinie despre sexul virtual. Intrebarea reporterului: ce parere aveti despre sexul virtual?
studentul de la medicina: - ce e aia virtual?
studentul de la economie: - chiar asa, ce e aia virtual?
studentul de la informatica: - stati putin, ce e ala sex?
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Un camion urmat la mica distanta de o masina de lux. La un moment dat aceasta din urma intra in depasire si cand ajunge in dreptul cabinei camionului coboara geamul si o blonda superba, dragalasa, si cu ochi albastri, striga soferului din camion: - Hei! Sunt Julie si sunt blonda! Vezi ca-ti cade marfa din camion in spate! Soferul nimic. Se repeta faza de cateva ori, cu acelasi rezultat. La un moment dat, camionul trage pe dreapta la un fast food. Vizibil iritata ca bunele ei intentii au ramas in zadar, Blonda Julie merge direct la tip: - Auzi, sunt Julie si sunt blonda si de o ora tot iti spun ca pierzi marfa din camion. Esti surd sau faci pe smecherul ? - Sunt John, sunt brunet, nu sunt surd, nu sunt smecher, imprastii sare pe drum…
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Presedintele Statelor Unite ne-a cerut sa ne unim pentru o cauza comuna tuturor: combaterea terorismului. Este bine stiut ca musulmanii se opun consumului de alcool si considera vederea unei femei (alta decat nevasta-sa) dezbracate, drept un pacat. Din aceasta cauza lansam un apel pentru ca timp de o saptamana, ZILNIC, la ora 17.00, toate femeile sa se dezbrace complet si sa alerge prin birouri iar toti barbatii sa le urmeze cu o bere in mana. Aceasta ne va ajuta sa detectam teroristii care se ascund la noi in firma. Statele Unite va sunt recunoscatoare pentru efortul facut impotriva terorismului. Colaborati ! Trimiteti acest mesaj tuturor colegilor de la serviciu si tuturor firmelor partenere!
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Tipuri de orgasm: 1. Astmatica: Aahh…ahhh…ahhh! 2. 2. Geografica: Aici, aici, aici, aici! 3. 3. Matematiciana: Mai mult, mai mult, mai mult, mai mult! 4. 4. Religioasa: Oh Doamne, oh Doamne! 5. 5. Sinucigasa: Mor, mor! 6. 6. Criminala: Daca te opresti acum, te omor! 7. 7. Zootehnista: Vino taurul meu, vino! 8. 8. Cheerleader: Da-i…da-i…da-i! 9. 9. Profesoara de engleza: Oh… yes, oh…good… 10. 10. Tipul manager de proiect: Nu te opri! Continua, continua! 11. 11. Negativa: Nuuu, nuuuuuu! 12. 12. Pozitiva: Da…da…da! 13. 13. Profesoara: Da…asa…pe acolo…foarte bine…corect…perfect. 14. 14. Dezinformata: Ce e asta?… De ce?… Ce-mi faci? 15. 15. Analista de sistem: OK. Procesul s-a terminat cu succes. 16. 16. Clarvazatoarea: Simt ca vine…
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Dupa mult timp de burlacie, Adam se confeseaza la Dumnezeu ca se simte foarte singur “Pot creea pentru tine o faptura de vis, frumoasa, inteligenta, cuminte si tacuta…Dar te costa o mana si un picior” spune Dumnezeu. “Dar pentru o coasta ce-mi poti oferi?” Si Dumnezeu a creat femeia…
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Unu isi ia o tigara cu marijuana si se duce pe balcon sa o incerce. O aprinde, trage 2 fumuri.. si nimic. “mah, ce plm ca nu simt nimic”. La un moment dat trece o bila luminoasa prin fata lui. hhmm!!?? Mai trage omu’ 2-3 fumuri, la fel…nimic. “Pana mea, am dat banii degeaba”. Si iar trece bila luminoasa prin fata lui. Mai trage 2-3 fumuri o stinge si intra in casa. Il vede tac’su:
- Unde ai fost mah?
- Pe balcon, am fumat o tigara.
- Pai doouuaa ziileee????
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Care este cel mai bun exemplu de globalizare? Raspuns: Moartea printesei Diana! Intrebare: Cum asa ???? Raspuns: O printesa engleza cu un amant egiptean, are un accident intr-un tunel francez, intr-o masina germana cu motor olandez, condusa de un belgian, beat cu wiskey scotian, urmarita fiind indeaproape de paparazzii italieni pe motociclete japoneze. Printesa era tratata de un doctor american cu medicamente braziliene. Si chestia asta iti este trimisa de un roman care foloseste tehnologia lu’ Bill Gates iar tu o citesti pe o clona de IBM care folosesc cipuri taivaneze, cu monitor corean, asamblate de muncitori din Banglades intr-o fabrica din Singapore, transportata cu vapoare de indieni, si descarcate de rromi.
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Daca NU citesti acest mesaj vei primi 5000 Euro. Prea tarziu! L-ai citit. Trimite mai departe, e incredibil !! Chiar functioneaza ! Si eu l-am citit si nu am primit 5000 Euro !!!
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Un puternic incendiu a distrus ieri biblioteca personala a patronului de la Steaua, Gigi Becali. Ambele sale carti au fost mistuite de flacari. Purtatorul de cuvînt al latifundiarului a declarat ca acesta este cu atît mai afectat, cu cît nici nu apucase s-o coloreze pe cea de-a doua.
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Un politist cercetand un geam spart:
- Mda, exact cum mi-am inchipuit … E spart pe ambele parti!
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No piece of normal-size paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
The first product to have a bar code scanned was Wrigley’s gum.
Earth is the only planet not named after a pagan God.
A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother’s first flight.
The new 787 Boeing was revealed on 7/8/07 or July 8th, 07.
Every day is about 55 billionths of a second longer than the day before it
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Footprints of astronauts who landed on the moon should last at least 10 million years since the moon has no atmosphere.
The national orchestra of Monaco (a nation in Europe) has more individuals than its army.
Earthworms have five hearts
The Himalayan gogi berry contains, weight for weight, more iron than steak, more beta carotene than carrots, more vitamin C than oranges.
Paraguay and Moldova are the only countries with national flags with different emblems on the obverse and reverse sides.
Fingerprints of koalas are similar (in pattern, shape and size) to the fingerprints of humans
Genetically-engineered babies were born first in 2001.
If an Amish man has a beard, he is married.
If a native Hawaiian woman places the flower on her right ear, she is available.  (The bigger the flower, the more desperate)
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Pope Pius II wrote an erotic book “Historia de duobos amantibus” in 1444.
SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below
Pele has always hated his nickname, which he says sounds like “baby-talk in Portuguese”.
As of 2006, 200 million blogs were left without updates
Urban birds have developed a short, fast “rap style” of singing, different from their rural counterparts.
The lion costume in the film Wizard of Oz was made from real lions.
Fathers tend to determine the height of their child, mothers their weight.
The Pope’s been known to wear red Prada shoes.
Donald Rumsfeld was both the youngest and the oldest defense secretary in US history.
Coco Chanel started the trend for sun tans in 1923 when she got accidentally burnt on a cruise.
Up to 25% of hospital keyboards carry the MRSA infection.
In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.
Ghandi didn’t allow his wife to take penicillin to save her life from pneumonia but took quinine to save himself from malaria.
Sex workers (Prostitutes) in Roman times charged the equivalent price of eight glasses of red wine.
As of 2006, more than one in eight people in the United States show signs of addiction to the internet.
More than 90% of plane crashes have survivors.
The Mona Lisa used to hang on the wall of Napoleon’s bedroom.
Barbie’s full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts.
Eating a packet of crisps a day is equivalent to drinking five liters of cooking oil a year.
Plant seeds that have been stored for more than 200 years can be coaxed into new life.
For every 10 successful attempts to climb Mount Everest there is one fatality. (As of 2006)
Watching television can act as a natural painkiller for children
Forty-one percent of English women have punched or kicked their partners, according to a study.
The more panels a football has - and therefore the more seams - the easier it is to control in the air.
Music can help reduce chronic pain by more than 20% and can alleviate depression by up to 25%.
The egg came first.
Modern teenagers are better behaved than their counterparts of 20 years ago, showing “less problematic behavior” involving sex, drugs and drink.
Britain is still paying off debts that predate the Napoleonic wars because it’s cheaper to do so than buy back the bonds on which they are based.
In Bhutan government policy is based on Gross National Happiness; thus most street advertising is banned, as are tobacco and plastic bags.
The best-value consumer purchase in terms of the price and usage is an electric kettle.
Camel’s milk, which is widely drunk in Arab countries, has 10 times more iron than cow’s milk.
Iceland has the highest concentration of broadband users in the world.
Native Hawaiian women were not allowed to cook.
The age limit for marriage in France was, until recently, 15 for girls, but 18 for boys. The age for girls was raised to 18 in 2006.
The brain is soft and gelatinous - its consistency is something between jelly and cooked pasta.
The Himalayas cover one-tenth of the Earth’s surface.
A “lost world” exists in the Indonesian jungle that is home to dozens of hitherto unknown animal and plant species.
The two most famous actors who portrayed the “Marlboro Man” in the cigarette ads died of lung cancer.
All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn’t like being seen wearing them in public.
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off.
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
The first known marketer of the flushing toilet was Thomas Crapper.
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.
The average American consumes 1.2 pounds of spider eggs a year and eat 2.5 pounds of insect parts a year.  (This fact and the one prior to it have been judged as urban legends by many)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.  (Makes you think about ambidextrous people)  This fact is based on a study that had errors in it, thus it might not be a fact.
Its impossible to smoke oneself to death with weed. You won’t be able to retain enough motor control and consciousness to do so after such a large amount.
Every drop of seawater contains approximately 1 billion gold atoms.
The US national anthem actually has three verses, but everyone just knows the first one.
During World War II, IBM built counting machines the Nazis used to manage their death/concentration camps.
During World War II, the British Intelligence used the Colossus Machines (precursor to computers) at Bletchley Park to help decode the enigma code of the Nazis.
The first Computer was ENIAC, short for Electronic Numerical Integrator And Computer, unveiled on February 14, 1946  (Thanks D.B. of AU)
The total combined weight of the worlds ant population is heavier than the weight of the human population.
The deadliest war in history excluding World War II was a civil war in China in the 1850s in which the rebels were led by a man who thought he was the brother of Jesus Christ.
Just about 3 people are born every second, and about 1.3333 people die every second. The result is about a 2 and 2/3 net increase of people every second. Almost 10 people more live on this Earth now, than before you finished reading this.
Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.
The number of people alive on earth right now is higher than the number of all the people that have died. Ever.
Men with a certain rare medical condition can breastfeed babies
There is a rare condition called Exploding Head Syndrome which you have probably never heard of.
Scientists have determined that fungi are more closely related to human beings and animals than to other plants.
In some (maybe all) Asian countries, the family name is written first and the individual name written second
Abe Lincoln bought 50 cents worth of cocaine in 1860
A German World War II submarine was sunk due to malfunction of the toilet.
Washington State has the longest single beach in the United States.Long Beach, WA
The largest living thing on the face of the Earth is a mushroom underground in Oregon, it measures three and a half miles in diameter.
The town of Los Angeles, California, was originally named “El Pueblo la Nuestra Senora de Reina de los Angeles de la Porciuncula”
9 out of 10 people believe Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.This isn’t true; Joseph Swan did.
Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.
The Population of the world can live within the state boundaries of Texas.
Plastic lawn flamingos outnumber real flamingos in the U.S.A.
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter “e.”
Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is not considered an insult! Despite the expensive food, tipping is welcome as in any other country.
The largest pumpkin weighed 377 pounds.
The largest cabbage weighed 144 pounds.
Pinocchio was made of pine.
Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button for it was eliminated during surgery.
A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
Cranberry Jell-0 is the only kind that contains real fruit.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Maine is the toothpick capital of the world.
New Jersey has a spoon museum with over 5,400 spoons from almost all the states.
There was once a town in West Virginia called “6.”
The parking meter was invented in North Dakota.
Napoleon made his battle plans in a sandbox.
Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator.
The green stuff on the occasional freak potato chip is chlorophyll.
Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first.
There are 333 toilet paper squares on a toilet paper roll.
The Eiffel Tower has 2,500,000 rivets in it.
“Jaws” is the most common name for a goldfish.
On an average work day, a typist’s fingers travel 12.6 miles.
Every minute in the U.S. six people turn 17.
Ten tons of space dust falls on the Earth every day.
On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.
Blue and white are the most common school colors.
Swimming pools in Phoenix, Arizona, pick up 20 pounds of dust a year.
In a normal lifetime an American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat.
A new book is published every 13 minutes in America.
America’s best selling ice cream flavor is vanilla.
Every year the sun loses 360 million tons.
Because of Animal Crackers, many kids until they reach the age of ten, believe a bear is as tall as a giraffe.
The Gulf Stream could carry a message in a bottle at an average of 4 miles per hour.
The bulls-eye on a dartboard must be 5 feet 8 inches off the ground.
The doorbell was invented in 1831.
The electric shaver was patented on November 6, 1928.
Japan is the largest exporter of frog’s legs.
There are seven points on the Statue of Liberty’s crown.
Napoleon was terrified of cats.
The first Lifesaver flavor was peppermint.
The typical American eats 263 eggs a year.
The parking meter was invented by C.C. Magee in 1935.
The oldest known vegetable is the pea.
Jack is the most common name in nursery rhymes.
The avocado has the most calories of any fruit.
The first zoo in the USA was in Philadelphia.
France has the highest per capita consumption of cheese.
The shortest English word that contains the letters A, B, C, D, E, and F is “feedback.”
The state of California raises the most turkeys out of all of the states.
George Washington Carver invented peanut butter.
Iceland was the first country to legalize abortion in 1935.
The dumbest domesticated animal is the turkey.
Russia has the most movie theaters in the world.
The most fatal car accidents occur on Saturday.
The Eiffel Tower has 1792 steps.
The mongoose was barred live entry into the U.S. in 1902.
Goldfish swallowing started at Harvard in 1939.
Dry fish food can make goldfish constipated.
The stall closest to the door in a bathroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used.
Toilet paper was invented in 1857.
Alaska could hold the 21 smallest States.
Before Prohibition, Schlitz Brewery owned more property in Chicago than anyone else, except the Catholic church.
If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.
Kermit the Frog is left-handed.
Nondairy creamer is flammable.
The car in the foreground on the back of a $10 bill is a 1925 Hupmobile.
If you can see a rainbow you must have your back to the sun.
The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
It’s rumored that sucking on a copper penny will cause a breathalyzer to read 0. Myth Busters on the Discovery Channel proved this wrong.
The ship, the Queen Elizabeth 2, should always be written as QE2. QEII is the actual queen.
The correct response to the Irish greeting, “Top of the morning to you,” is “and the rest of the day to yourself.”
Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.
When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home to a sellout crowd, the stadium becomes the state’s third largest city.
Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the U.S., but technically it is Number 47. Until August 7, 1953, Congress forgot to vote on a resolution to admit Ohio to the Union.
When Saigon fell, the signal for all Americans to evacuate was Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” being played on the radio.
The pet ferret was domesticated more than 500 years before the house cat.
The dome on Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s home, conceals a billiards room. In Jefferson’s day, billiards were illegal in Virginia.
The most common speed limit sign in the United States is 25 m.p.h.
At any one time, there are 100 million phone conversations going on in the United States.
The world’s record for continuous pogo stick jumping is 41 hours.
The Ottoman Empire once had seven emperors in seven months. They died of (in order): burning, choking, drowning, stabbing, heart failure, poisoning and being thrown from a horse.
You can make edible cheese from the milk of 24 different mammals.
Sir Isaac Newton, who invented Calculus, had trouble with names to the point where he would forget his brothers’ names.
In medieval Thailand, they had moveable type printing presses. The type was made from baked oxen dung.
By law, employees do not have to wash hands after sneezing.
The average American consumes enough caffeine in one year to kill a horse.
More American workers (18%) call sick on Friday than any other day of the week. Tuesday has the lowest percent of absenteeism (11%).
Enough beer is poured every Saturday across America to fill the Orange Bowl.
A newborn expels its own body weight in waste every 60 hours.
Whales die if their echo system fails.
Florida’s beaches lose 20 million cubic yards of sand annually.
Naturalists use marshmallows to lure alligators out of swamps.
It takes a ton of water to make a pound of refined sugar.
Weevils are more resistant to poisons in the morning than at night.
Cacao, the main ingredient of chocolate is the most pest-ridden tree in the jungle.
In deep space most lubricants will disappear.
America once issued a 5-cent bill.
The average person can live 11 days without water.
In 1221 the daughter of Genghis Khan ordered the killing of the entire population of the city of Nishapur (about 60,000) in one hour.  The order came after her husband killing. (Moguls claim that 1.7 million were killed)
There are 35 million digestive glands in the stomach.
In 1800 on 50 cities on earth had a population of more than 100,000.
More steel in the US is used to make bottle caps than to manufacture automobile bodies.
It is possible for any American citizen to give whatever name he or she chooses to any unnamed mountain or hill in the United States.
King Henry III of France, Louis XVI of France and Napoleon all suffered from ailurophobia–fear of cats.
Before 1850 golf balls were made of leather and stuffed with feathers.
Clocks made before 1687 had only one hand, and hour hand.
The motto of the American people, “In God We Trust,” was not adopted as the national slogan until 1956.
More Americans have died in automobile accidents than have died in all the wars ever fought by the United States.
The ampersand (&) was once a letter of the English alphabet.
The principality of Monaco consists of 370 acres.
There are more than 40,000 characters in Chinese script.
During the time of Peter the Great, any Russian man who had a beard was required to pay a special tax.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. treasury.
The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters (I was thankfully corrected by a friend: The Hawai’ian alphabet has 13 letters, A, E, I, O, U, H, K, L, M, N, P, W, ‘ (which is called an okina).
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
The amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000.
City with the most Rolls Royces per capita: Hong Kong.
State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.
Percentage of Africa that is wilderness–28%. Percentage of North America that is wilderness–38%.
Average number of days a German goes without washing his underwear: 7.
Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80%.
Percentage of American women who say they’d marry the same man: 50%.
Cost of raising a medium size dog to the age of 11: $6,400.
Average people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.
Average lifespan of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
The only President to win a Pulitzer Prize: John Kennedy for “Profiles in Courage.”
The youngest Pope was 11 years old.
Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
First novel ever written on a typewriter: “Tom Sawyer.”
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why. (This was challenged and proved wrong by the TV show “Mythbusters”)
The main library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades–King David, Clubs–Alexander the Great, Hearts–Charlemagne and Diamonds–Julius Caesar.
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one leg front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all 4 legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th. The last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.
The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are useable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
The first airline, DELAG, was established on October 16, 1909, to carry passengers between German cities by Zeppelin airships. Up to November 1913, more than 34,000 people had used the service.
Titanic was running at 22 knots when she hit the iceberg
The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; ‘7′ was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. ‘UP’ indicated the direction of the bubbles
Francis Scott Key was a young lawyer who wrote the poem, ‘The Star Spangled Banner’, after being inspired by watching the Americans fight off the British attack of Baltimore during the War of 1812. The poem became the words to the national anthem
Because radio waves travel at 186,000 miles per second and sound waves saunter at 700 miles per hour, a broadcast voice can be heard sooner 13,000 miles away than it can be heard at the back of the room in which it originated
Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know your there
The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep
Inventor Samuel Colt patented his revolver in 1836.
It has been recommended by dentists that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet (two meters) away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush!
In ancient Rome it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose
It is possible to drown and not die. Technically the term ‘drowning’ refers to the process of taking water into the lungs, not to death caused by that process.
The first known heart medicine was discovered in an English garden. In 1799, physician John Ferriar noted the effect of dried leaves of the common foxglove plant, digitalis purpurea, on heart action. Still used in heart medications, digitalis slows the pulse and increases the force of heart contractions and the amount of b lood pumped per heartbeat.
Dry cereal for breakfast was invented by John Henry Kellogg at the turn of the century
During World War II, a German U-boat was sunk by a truck. The U-boat in question attacked a convoy in the Atlantic and then rose to see the effect. The merchant ship it sank had material strapped to its deck including a fleet of trucks, one of which was thrown in the air by the explosion, landing on the U-boat and breaking its back
Jeremy Bentham, a British philosopher who died in 1832,left his entire estate to the London Hospital provided that his body be allowed to preside over its board meetings. His skeleton was clothed and fitted with a wax mask of his face. It was present at the meeting for 92 years.
Diet Coke was only invented in 1982.
Methane gas can often be seen bubbling up from the bottom of ponds. It is produced by the decomposition of dead plants and animals in the mud.
There are more than 1,700 references to gems and precious stones in the King James translation of the Bible.
The E. Coli bacterium propels itself with a ‘motor’ only one-millionth of an inch in diameter, a thousand times smaller than the tiniest motors built to date by man. The rotation of the bacterial motor comes from a current of protons. The efficiency of the motor approaches 100 per cent.
Henry Ford produced the model T only in black because the black paint available at the time was the fastest to dry.
At - 40 degrees Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.
Pet superstores now sell about 40 percent of all pet food
One million Americans, about 3,000 each day, take up smoking each year. Most of them are children.
In 1933, Mickey Mouse, an animated cartoon character, received 800,000 fan letters.
There are only four words in the English language which end in ‘-dous’: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous
If you attempted to count to stars in a galaxy at a rate of one every second it would take around 3,000 years to count them all.
Less than 3% of Nestlé’s sales are for chocolate.
The average person will spend two weeks over their lifetime waiting for the traffic light to change
More than 2500 left handed people are killed every year from using right handed products
It is estimated that at any one time, 0.7% of the world’s population are drunk
The tip of a 1/3 inch long hour-hand on a wristwatch travels at 0.00000275 mph
Less than one per cent of the 500 Chinese cities have clean air, respiratory disease is China’s leading cause of death.
The number of cars on the planet is increasing three times faster than the population growth
The X’s that people sometimes put at the end of letters or notes to mean a kiss, actually started back in the 1000’s when Lords would sign their names at the end of documents to other important people. It was originally a cross that they would kiss after signing to signify that they were faithful to God and their King. Over the years though, it slanted into the X
Nova Scotia is Latin for ‘New Scotland.’
The collecting of Beer mats is called Tegestology.
Even though it is widely attributed to him Shakespeare never actually used the word ‘gadzooks’.
Only 2 blue moons (the saying ‘only once in a blue moon ‘ refers to the occurrence of two full moons during one calendar month) are to occur between now and 2001. Those times are January 1999 and March 1999
“Naked” means to be unprotected. “Nude” means unclothed
Upper and lower case letters are named ‘upper’ and ‘lower’, because in the time when al original print had to be set in individual letters, the ‘upper case’ letters were stored in the case on top of the case stored smaller, ‘lower case’ letters.
In the 40’s, the Bich pen was changed to Bic for fear that Americans would pronounce it ‘Bitch.’
Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11’s lunar module landed on the moon.
The ‘You are here’ arrow on a map is called the IDEO locator.
MTV first aired at 12:01 AM on August 1, 1981. The first video was ‘Video Killed the Radio Star’ by the Bugles.
There are more than 1,00 chemicals in a cup of coffee.
The number of cars on the planet is increasing three times faster than the population growth
At - 40 degrees Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories  per hour by breathing.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
A lion’s roar can be heard from five miles away.
Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating.
There is about 200 times more gold in the worlds oceans, than has been mined in our entire history.
Hair and nails do not continue to grow after death. The skin recedes, making it appear to grow.
Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland.
Termites eat wood twice as fast when listening to heavy metal music.
The cockroach dies from radiation and would not survive a nuclear war.
In the southern hemisphere, water always swirl anti-clockwise down into a pipe.
About 8 million blood cells die in the human body every second, and the same number are born each second.
Eighteen per cent of all global carbon dioxide emissions are from cars.
Every year, the Moon moves a further 3.82cm from the Earth.
It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
35 meters of hair fiber is produced every day on the average adult scalp.
Hair is the fastest growing tissue in the body, second only to bone marrow.
Dolphins don’t automatically breath; they have to tell  themselves  to do it.
The term Cop comes from Constable on Patrol, which is a term used in England.
Onions get their distinctive smell by soaking up sulfur from the soil.
Nobel Prize resulted from a late change in the will of Alfred Nobel, who did not want to be remembered as a propagator of violence-he invented dynamite.
Whoopi Goldberg was a mortuary cosmetologist and a bricklayer before becoming an actress.
Guinness Book Of Records holds the record for being the book most stolen from Public Libraries.
Charlie Chaplin won third place in a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest.
Walt Disney named Mickey Mouse after Mickey Rooney, whose mother he dated for some time. Another story states that: Mickey mouse was not named after Mickey Rooney he was made on a train ride from New York after Walt found out he didn’t actually own Oswald the lucky rabbit. The mouse Walt drew was originally named Mortimor But his wife Lilly didn’t like that name so she suggested Mickey and the name stuck.
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he didn’t wear pants.
From 1942 until the end of World War II, Oscars were made out of plaster to conserve metal. After the war, the winners received “real” replacement statues.
The only Oscar statuette ever made of wood was presented to Edgar Bergen in 1938 for his “outstanding comic creation,” his ventriloquist dummy Charlie McCarthy.
A person afflicted with hexadectylism has six fingers or six toes on one or both hands and feet.
Pamela Lee-Anderson is Canada’s Centennial Baby, being the first baby born on the centennial anniversary of Canada’s independence.
Tokyo has had 24 recorded instances of people either killed or receiving serious skull fractures while bowing to each other with the traditional Japanese greeting.

Top:
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced  to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to  squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I’m still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home…… maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its  body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (”Honey, I’m   home. What the….?!”)
A mantis breeder has assured me that you preying mantis can copulate with the male’s head still attached, even several times.
The flea can jump 350 times its body length.  For a human, that would be  equivalent to jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes…lucky pig… can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.  (Hmmmmmm……..won’t go there.)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a  good thing….)
A cat’s urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

Amuzati-va! Cautari google:

* carnacior de 10 ani
* bataie cu cureaua la curu gol
* ma simt urata nemachiata
* daca o cada se umple in 3
* filme porno cu grasi
* big falus
* micuta terorista
* poze cu bani
* poze viol rapid
* te cheama shrek
* bad pissi avatar
* ce facem la solar
* bani pentru cantari in cluburi
* ce inseamna hermafrodita
* ce-ti iei in picioare la o rochita
* ce breton se poarta in 2008?
* ce dresuri de baie se poarta in 2008?
* cum sa fac sa fiu vesela la scoala
* caut baiat cu bani
* caut baiat cu locuinta
* caut baiat pentru sex
* cat par are baiatul de 12 ani la p**ă?
* carpeta cu oi
* cum lipesti faianta
* cum fac o palariuta pentru copii
* cum aflu daca sunt blestemat
* ce trebuie sa faci si cum trebuie sa te imbraci ca sa fi repăr
* e bine să ne pensăm părul de pe sâni?
* poze cu copii la promenada in mall
* poze cu baieţi în ştrampi
* realitatea e ca barbie nici macar nu exista
* renoveaza baia
* sunt mandra ca sunt pitipoanca
* sutiene inteligente
* unghii de invidiata
* tuşeu rectal
* violatorul carpatin
* vreau sa ma angajez la un solar
* fac sex cu o grasa
* ce sandale se poarta daca ai degetele lungi?

Sursa: pitzipoanca.org

1.
Azi fata mea implineste 21 de ani si sunt incantat ca este ultima pensie alimentara pe care i-o dau, asa ca am chemat-o si i-am zis:
- “Fetita mea, vreau sa te duci la maica-ta acasa cu cecul asta si sa-i spui ca: Asta este ultimul cec pe care-l mai primeste in viata ei, nenorocita! si sa vii sa-mi spui ce mutra face.
Astepta nerabdator si cand intra fiica lui, a intrebat-o: Ce ti-a zis vrajitoarea de maica-ta si ce fata a facut?
- Mi-a zis ca astepta ziua asta ca sa-ti spuna ca nu esti tu tatal meu!

2.
Un barbat care-si ofensa mereu sotia, chema un grup de prieteni sa-l acompanieze ca sa-si conduca sotia la aeroport, care pleca intr-o calatorie la Paris . In fata tuturor, la despartire, el ii dori calatorie placuta si striga tare: Iubito, nu uita sa-mi aduci la intoarcere o “mica si frumusica frantuzoaica”.
Dupa 15 zile barbatul o primi la aeroport cu acelasi grup de prieteni si cu voce tare, o intreba:
- Mi-ai adus frantuzoaica promisa?
- Am facut tot ce mi-a fost in putinta, raspunse sotia, ramane doar sa ne rugam sa se nasca fetita.

3.
Pe patul de moarte un barbat isi chema sotia si cu voce slabita ii spuse:
- As vrea sa-ti fac o marturisire, ca sa pot muri in pace.
- Lasa, spuse ea, stai linistit, nu e bine sa faci niciun efort.
- Nu, nu,  spuse el, vreau sa-ti spun ca m-am culcat cu sora ta, cu mama ta si cu cea mai buna prietena a ta.
- Stiu asta nenorocitule, de asta te-am otravit!